I am reading this book by Vickie Farris and her daughter, Jayme Farris Metzgar. I found encouragement in the second chapter by these words,
"I can think of few things more difficult for a mother than doing something she believes is not God's best for her children. If you are in this situation, be comforted that God rewards those who obey Him. I believe that home education has been successful for this very reason - it is God's way, and God's ways work. However, for mothers whose husbands have forbidden them to home school, God's way is to submit to your husband. Just as we homeschooling mothers need to obey God and trust Him with the results, so you, in obeying God by obeying your husband, can trust Him to take care of your children."
It helps to hear that God will take care of my children as they enter public school this year. I feel like I need to cry out, "Lord, help me with my unbelief." I can't put God in a box and say that the evils of public school are mightier than He is. I have such fears about what school will introduce my daughters to, based on what I was exposed to as a young woman. I blame the poor choices of my young adulthood on my parent's not sheltering me better, but I am sure there is more to it than just their decision to put me in public school.
My parents made many mistakes with me as I am sure I will make many with my own children. I just hate to make the same mistakes as were made with me. For example, I will never ever leave my husband. The legacy of divorce is on my head through no fault of my own (or my mother's). My parents didn't divorce, but they did separate several times. It rocked my young world to discover that you could count on someone for everything and they might just one day leave because they didn't "love" you anymore. This has devastated my ability to form healthy relationships, which I believe God in now in the process of healing. My relationship with my husband has been saved by my own salvation.
My mom took the girls and I shopping for school clothes today. Just the process of shopping for school clothes brought up so many fears in me. I wish my husband was a believer and understood the importance of sheltering. I will still do my best to provide a firm foundation to stand on. I know it is possible to grow into a Godly woman even going through public school. So many of the women I admire now did just that. It is just a challenge that has to be faced. I will pray both for their spiritual/emotional/physical safety and for my husband's mind to change. I will drive them to school and pick them up, no matter how convenient the bus would be. I will have lunch with them once a week at least and volunteer at the school as much as possible to be a witness to what they face. I will seek out Godly mothers with similar convictions, so that my children can find friends with similar upbringings. I will hope and trust in my Lord, and pray, "Lord, help me with my unbelief!" May He teach me that I can have faith in Him and that His will shall be done!
4 weeks ago
2 gentle comments:
Hello--thanks for visiting my blog! This is my first visit to yours, and here you are wrestling with the same issue I went through last year with my son. We did decide on public school for several reasons. The cost of a good private school here was in excess of $10K/year just for kindergarten, and it was hard to justify spending that, especially since it goes up several thousand a year as the grades progress. That alone was a deterrent, since we have another child to consider! Our religious schools did not have the academic programs we wanted for our son, who is gifted and needs to be moved along or he's happy to rest on his laurels. :) The other reason we went with public school is that I *want* my son to have experience with people different from himself. I want him to learn in a safe environment how to get along with children who are not being brought up the same way he is. When school is in session, we talk about his day every afternoon and discuss how he handled different situations. Most of the children in his kindergarten class turned out to be very nice, despite huge differences in family income, parents at home, etc. I think children want to get along and be happy, and for some, school is a haven where they can do that.
So I'm at peace with sending him back for first grade. This school is just up the street from us, so he's close by if he gets sick or needs us, and it goes through fifth grade. At that point, we will enter him in our district's magnet lottery while making arrangements for private middle school, unless our local middle school improves. I think that's the age where a lot of damage can be done, especially if a child is surrounded by unmotivated classmates. It's a long way off, but that's our plan for now.
Nothing is a stronger influence on a young child than a good family! I hope you find peace in your decision. We have always told ourselves that if "something" happens, we can pull him out and find a different solution at any point--this doesn't have to be a permanent solution. For now, it works. Blessings to you!
The verse I clung to when putting one of my children back in public school was Phil. 1:6 'Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus'. I have seen this hold TRUE!!
Trust that God will keep all you have poured into your children as you are obedient to your husband. God Bless, Cindy
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