"A Mom Just Like You"

I am reading this book by Vickie Farris and her daughter, Jayme Farris Metzgar. I found encouragement in the second chapter by these words,

"I can think of few things more difficult for a mother than doing something she believes is not God's best for her children. If you are in this situation, be comforted that God rewards those who obey Him. I believe that home education has been successful for this very reason - it is God's way, and God's ways work. However, for mothers whose husbands have forbidden them to home school, God's way is to submit to your husband. Just as we homeschooling mothers need to obey God and trust Him with the results, so you, in obeying God by obeying your husband, can trust Him to take care of your children."

It helps to hear that God will take care of my children as they enter public school this year. I feel like I need to cry out, "Lord, help me with my unbelief." I can't put God in a box and say that the evils of public school are mightier than He is. I have such fears about what school will introduce my daughters to, based on what I was exposed to as a young woman. I blame the poor choices of my young adulthood on my parent's not sheltering me better, but I am sure there is more to it than just their decision to put me in public school.

My parents made many mistakes with me as I am sure I will make many with my own children. I just hate to make the same mistakes as were made with me. For example, I will never ever leave my husband. The legacy of divorce is on my head through no fault of my own (or my mother's). My parents didn't divorce, but they did separate several times. It rocked my young world to discover that you could count on someone for everything and they might just one day leave because they didn't "love" you anymore. This has devastated my ability to form healthy relationships, which I believe God in now in the process of healing. My relationship with my husband has been saved by my own salvation.

My mom took the girls and I shopping for school clothes today. Just the process of shopping for school clothes brought up so many fears in me. I wish my husband was a believer and understood the importance of sheltering. I will still do my best to provide a firm foundation to stand on. I know it is possible to grow into a Godly woman even going through public school. So many of the women I admire now did just that. It is just a challenge that has to be faced. I will pray both for their spiritual/emotional/physical safety and for my husband's mind to change. I will drive them to school and pick them up, no matter how convenient the bus would be. I will have lunch with them once a week at least and volunteer at the school as much as possible to be a witness to what they face. I will seek out Godly mothers with similar convictions, so that my children can find friends with similar upbringings. I will hope and trust in my Lord, and pray, "Lord, help me with my unbelief!" May He teach me that I can have faith in Him and that His will shall be done!

Tristie's a big girl now and a big snow in January!

Look who lost her first tooth:

This actually happened January 12th, but I wasn't having a very bloggy month. It was huge for her. She got a "gold" dollar under her pillow. Sister was more than a little jealous since she is "older" (by one minute) and therefore supposed to lose the first tooth (according to her).
Also in the month of January, the girls experienced their first snow. It was all of 4 hours long, then it melted but it was long enough to run around and have snowball fights and make their first snowman. Tay actually stayed in his room, expecting it to last longer and he barely got to see it before it melted.

Thad pelting me and laughing:

Tristie pelting me and laughing:
Tabby pelting me and laughing:
The only proof that I was there:
Daddy and sissies collecting snow from the cars for more snowballs:


Our backyard:

The infamous snowman (who lasted for 36 hours):

Our neighbor joined in the fun:

So did the pup in her new winter coat:

Now that I am back...

We had a really rough time for the last month and I just couldn't bring myself to blog. I find that just about every single problem in my life has resulted from my own sin, and this was no exception. However, I am back and ready to move on. I am hopefully changing in such a way that my life will continue to go smoother from here on out.

I am hoping that through God's blessings, I can quit working in May altogether except my painting, bows, and crochet items I sell. Right now my only "jobs" are working in the church nursery one morning and two evenings a week, cleaning my mom's office once a week, and working nursery for a mom's group two mornings a month. I do all of this with my kids so I still consider myself a "sahm". I am also still subbing at preschool on the condition that my dds can stay in the room with me (regardless of what age I am put with). I do keep my nephew (and soon will be keeping #2 as well), but I don't count that as a job even though they pay me because I would do it for free and I give that money straight to dh (it goes in an emergency fund in case Harper breaks or damages something).

My plan involves my bills to be paid off in 3 months so I can concentrate totally on being a "keeper at home". I have been sorely tempted though. The director of the MDO quit and I would be hired to have her job (a HUGE boon in income) if I applied. I almost did and three hours before the interview I withdrew my application. I know I am capable and would do a fantastic job- all the parents want me to do it, but I can't do it without cost to my precious children and right now they need me 100%. This job would be very close to full time (it is 30 hours a week), but I think it would consume so much more from me. It is hard to walk away from an opportunity that I know I would excel at and which would pay my bills off in one month, so I am having angst. I know that just because I would do a fantastic job, doesn't mean that the job would do fantastic things for me. So I am trying very hard to let it go.

Anyhow, here are two finished objects. One is a scarf I made for my sister in law. It is unusual colors but I just liked them together. I finished it back in January but just never got around to posting it.

The other is a birthday banner ordered from a member of the multiples club for her niece. I finished this in January also.

An epiphany during Bible Study...

Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. 1 Corinthians 7:17a

So if I feel dissatisfied with my life it is because I do not have enough faith or trust in God. He has given me my perfect assignment and I need to be a good steward of it.

Why? and more dresses/skirts

Why do I feel jealous of people who have things I don't actually want or do things I don't really want to do? Two women at the church were getting ready to go set up a booth at a craft fair. I felt jealous. Why? I could get a booth to sell my paintings and other stuff at any craft fair I want, but I choose not to. Painting takes up so much of my time at home, and I have made a conscious decision to scale back the business. Doing only orders from word of mouth. But I still felt jealous. I don't get it.


Why do people who love me put me down? The people who love me the most (not dh) sometimes put me down when I better myself. Making fun of my efforts to be a better wife or person. I imagine it stems from insecurity and competitiveness on their part, but it is always hurtful when someone you trust makes fun of you for trying to be a better person.





Well, I figured out late Friday, most of my angst over the crisis was really due to a virus I was coming down with. I spent all day in bed with a fever and severe stomach cramps. It was better on Saturday, but didn't totally go away until Monday. So I never got a pic of Friday's outfit, it was off too fast. I will post Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and today's outfits to round out my "week of dresses and skirts" even though I am well past a week. Dh is much happier to have me dressing so feminine, but I did change into pants the one time he asked me to (when we went to the county fair- because of the rides, he didn't want me "exposed").



Thursday's (preschool and housework)My black flats



Saturday's (soccer game and grocery shopping)



Sunday's (church and deep cleaning)



Monday's (preschool and housework)





Today's (preschool and housework)- sorry for the bad pic but I used the timer


Another bow holder made for my friend Tiffany's dd:

Having a bad day...

I thought I was having a hard day yesterday until it got worse and worse. Today I am just feeling the mental and emotional effects of yesterday. Everything I think I have life semi-worked out, I get a curve ball. I have a lot of thinking to do and appreciate any prayers anyone is willing to send my way.