I'm having an existential crisis...

I really want to quit working. I only work part time as a nursery worker and preschool teacher at church and am always with my children. I just find it harder and harder to be the woman God has called me to be while doing time at these jobs. I took the jobs to give me financial freedom, because my dh has control issues (that he acknowledges) with money. What I have found is that with greater freedom, I don't spend wisely. It has been fun spending money that I don't have to be accountable for, but I am no better off with what I buy than I would be without it. I need to pay for what I have recently spent (not too much) and ds's braces. When that is done, I can quit if I want. I am such a people pleaser though and I don't know if I can let down everyone I work for and with by quitting. It will break the hearts of the children and their parents if I quit the preschool. My coworker and friend in the nursery job will be so upset if I quit that job. Why do I find it so hard to hurt people that are less close to me when I am doing what is best for my family? Right now I am aiming for a January quit time. That give me time to pay things and even then, I would have to give a month's notice. I have some second thoughts about being financially dependent on my dh, but I am hoping that God will bless me for my obedience. Nobody ever said that life was totally fun and you get everything you want anyway. That is just a lie the world tells you. Maybe it will be a struggle but I want the freedom and peace that comes from following God's path.