Monday's appointment was not productive, except that I am realizing that I need to prove to my husband that I am trustworthy. I am still in some kind of limbo. He wants me to work, not homeschool and not have another baby. I don't know how to reconcile that with what I want... Just praying.
I am up in the attic for today and all of next week, boxing everything up. Once it is boxed up, I will go through it box by box to decide what to keep, what to throw away, what to sell, and what to give away. My husband is so happy. I am doing a lot of thinking while I am up there. We have a counseling appointment Monday and I am thinking hard about what I want. Meanwhile, I am also listening to my mom's CDs of Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I am committed to declutter and destress inspired by this post: A Dangerous Immune Disorder
...to read to the children
...to pray
...to appreciate your loved ones
...to serve someone else
...to give a smile
...to eat with your family
Come to Jesus
Oh, my baby, when you're older
Maybe then you'll understand
You have angels to dance around your shoulders
'Cause at times in life you need a helping hand
Oh, my baby, when you're prayin'
Leave your burden by my door
You have Jesus standing at your bedside
To keep you calm, keep you safe,
Away from harm
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don't seem worth livin'
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
Oh, my baby, when you're cryin'
Never hide your face from me
'cause I have conquered hell and driven out the demons
I have come with a light to set you free
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don't seem worth livin'
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, my baby, when you're dying
Believe the healing of His hand
Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival
Here in Heaven you will finally understand
Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival
Here in Heaven you will finally understand
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don't seem worth livin'
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
Except that I cry every single day, sometimes every hour, and not just about the baby. I am still on a tv fast. My girlfriend at work told me that she was going to fast and pray about an issue and we got to talking about the importance of fasting when you really need God to hear you and you really need to hear God. I did some thinking, and while my waistline would prefer the food fast, my heart and mind need the tv fast. We'll see how it goes.
I have an ob appointment for my first check up since the baby tomorrow. Hopefully my hormones have returned to normal.
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