Now I am done...

I thought I was done Sunday when I saw the ultrasound and my womb was completely "empty". Little did I know I had days of labor and suffering to look toward. Monday I went to work (church) not wanting to be alone. I had to be driven home and given drugs. I labored for 2 hours before I finally found relief. I didn't know that until my womb was truly empty, I had to have labor over and over again. The upside is that I think I delivered my baby at home. It is hard to say for sure, but my husband said that either way it is representative of my baby. I am making a garden stone, because I can't bear to bury my baby and one day have to move away. So I had to go to the hospital the next day, and my doctor and husband preferred that I have a d&c to save myself further pain and struggle. Now at least it is done and I have no more labor to look forward to. My husband was clear that he doesn't want to do this again and wants a vasectomy, but I told him I cannot discuss it now. I am just going to pray and pray. I can't direct anyone's path but my own, but I can pray.